Stop Pretending
by gt2bme2003
Summary: Rated M for future chapters.  My first story.  Harry is hurting and no one cares.  Can Severus make him stop pretending and become who he is meant to be?   Slash H/S
1. Inner Conflict

The characters in this story belong to JK Rowling

AN: This is my very first story... if it absoulutly sucks please let me know. Also I need a beta

Pain… That's all he had ever known. He was alone and for that he was greatful. No one would ever understand him. How could they? He was just a means to an end. Nothing special. He used to pray for someone to find him. For someone to see him even if just for a moment. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders and no one to run to when he got scared or lost his way. This is the life of Harry James Potter, the Chosen one.

It was a dark and dismal day outside Number 12 Grimald Place, of course it always seemed that way to Harry. He was lonely even when he was surrounded by almost every member of the order. No one cared that he was in pain, no one cared that he was sad, no one cared as long as he could do his job.

There had been many plans made to end Lord Voldemort. Most of which weren't the most promising. It seemed that no matter what they did he was going to die for the greater good. Not that he cared anymore. It had been drilled into his head for the past 16 years that he was a good for nothing whore. In his mind it was what he deserved.

Severus Snape was not a blind man and could clearly see that something was wrong with their savior. He and the boy had been growing closer as he helped him train for the upcoming battle. He was seething mad that they had allowed the boy to think that he would not live to live his own life after the war. The boy deserved some peace and quite. Severus had recently grown fond of the boy and realized that they may be more to him than he originally thought.

'Just my luck' Severus mused to himself as he pondered how to help Harry outta his funk. He knew that he cared more for him than was probably good considering how much older he was than him.

"Harry, why don't we go out back and meditate some or work on hand to hand combat. You look like you could use a break from yourself." Said Severus after he completed his study of the boy.

"Not today sir, I'm not really feeling up to it. Sorry"

"You have been moping about for over a week now we are either going to go train or you are going to tell me what is on your mind."

"Its not something that I really care to discuss right now and I don't feel like training so please just leave me alone."

"NO, You will talk to me. I am tired of seeing you so down. I know what you are doing to yourself and it's not healthy. You need to talk to me Harry. I may not be your favorite person but I can help."

'You wont want to help when you find out that I am in love with you,' Harry thought glumly to himself. He had been haboring feelings for Severus for quite awhile now and the feelings only seemed to grow as Severus started treating him like a person worth something.

"Sir I will come to you when I am ready to talk." With that Harry silently left the room to think on how he would handle the situation he found himself in.


	2. What Now

Disclaimer: Don't Own but I wish I did!

Harry found himself sitting in the library contemplating his current situation.

'Severus will only ever see you as child.' Harry thought bitterly to himself. He knew without a doubt that he needed to tell Severus if only to help him get over it.

Harry had known for quite a while now that he was gay. He had told Ron and Hermione about two years ago and neither had had a problem with. In the Wizarding World being gay was considered perfectly normal. Nothing to get worked up about. Harry of course didn't know that so he went into the situation thinking he would lose his friends all in one go.

He wanted to tell Hermione what he felt for the dark man but was unsure how she would react. On the one hand he was almost 20 years his senior on the other hand he was their teacher, but he really needed to talk to someone about it. Remus was out of the question he wouldn't even know where to start. He looked up to Remus like a Father and you normally don't talk to your father about the man you fancy, and Ron would think he was under some kind of curse.

It was later in the afternoon before Harry finally worked up the nerve to breach the subject with Hermione.

"Hermione can I get your advice on something?" He asked nervously.

"Of course Harry, let me get Ron and …."

"NO. I don't want to talk to him yet just you… its well personal and I don't know how he will take it." Harry garbled out.

"Ok Harry shoot. What can I help you with."

"I want your advice on how to tell someone you like them…."

"Well Harry first off who is it? Is it someone I know, do they go to school with is?"

"Yes you know him and no they don't go to school with us. It's kind of contravercial being with them. You see its, well its Snape."

"Professor Snape…. Well I guess it was bound to happen you have been spending a lot of time together and well there aren't any rules about teachers dating students but I don't know Harry. Have you told him anything?"

"That's the problem Hermione I don't know how or what to say to him. Its messing with my brain. Every time he's around I can't concentrate. He's all I ever think about. I just don't know what to do." Harry said miserably.

"Harry you should just tell him. He won't be hateful to you or anything. He will either let you down or tell you how it will go."

"Hermione its Snape. He will probably ridicule me for falling for him and constantly make fun of me. Why does it all have to be so complicated?"

"Harry you won't know until you try. I think that with everything you two have been through you both deserve some happiness. Just talk to him. It's not as hard as you are making it out to be. I know it can be nerve wracking wondering what is going on in the other persons head but you are just like every other guy out there telling someone one they like them. Come on Harry just do it, don't psych yourself out."

As Hermione left the room, Harry stood their wondering how he should do this. Should he take Hermione's advice or wait until Voldemort is dead. Of course by that time he could also be dead. Maybe that would save him from the whole situation.


End file.
